If you had to live in it…for at least a year? Welcome to the gentrification capital…and to another one of my hair-brained schemes! As you all know, we are in the thick of locating and buying our first home. I desperately want to remove myself from the once desolate, now thriving, downtown scene because I … Continue reading
I’m sore as hell ya’ll, and I blame American Ninja Warrior. It all started on the 4th of July. The D-man and I had just discovered/binge watched American Ninja Warrior, and then we drank a little , watched the fireworks, saw a mini-horse chariot, and drank a little more. Don’t judge! It was the first 4th … Continue reading
I admit it…I’m stupefied by people’s stupidity, and I’m dumbfounded by their…well, you get it. I’m not gonna alliterate you to death, but sometimes I’m so tempted to say “use your words” to perfect strangers. Case study #1 An almost grown man pointed to the dessert case and asked, “What’s the this one?” He was … Continue reading
What do the Stones and a giant orange-headed baby have in common? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing! And that’s why they’ve asked the TrumpMonster to quit playing their music at his rallies. I know it’s a small victory and that I’m cursing a lot, but let me also add, Suck it Scrooge McFuck! I didn’t need another … Continue reading
This is not a story about those great tits, but damn, Sophia Vergara! Image credit: imagechan.com This is a story about a recent scientific discovery/ birds who can communicate in phrases. These birds happen to be named Great Tits. If I were a scientific journalist, I’d be obliged to report just the facts without … Continue reading
Image credit:http://hdwallpapersstock.blogspot.com/2011/12/penguin-wallpapers.html This tale isn’t about Penguins at all, but it is about animals who mate for life. My two top-commenters are vegetarians, so they’d definitely say no to the query. Hi, Marissa! Hi, Paola! Just the other day, I was walking through an affluent neighborhood with my pesky dog, when she stopped to … Continue reading
I work a shitty job by choice. My IQ isn’t genius level, but it’s above average. Yet, I work in a cafe. I wear an ugly green shirt, and a baseball cap, so people probably view me as ‘simple’. I loved my former job but it consumed me. I made good money, but wasn’t satisfied … Continue reading
Just as I was finishing my make up while watching HGTV, I got an urgent text from my boss. I thought I had another 30 minutes of primping until I was scheduled for work. I was wrong! It was now 9:15 a.m., and I was supposed to be at work at 9:00 a.m. Oh shit! … Continue reading
It is officially crunch time for last minute holiday shopping. If you’re smart like a lot of people, you’re already done. If you’ve waited till the the 11th hour (like me) you might be wiping away the stress-sweat from your brow,as you read this. Guess what? The mall is going to be crowded, but I … Continue reading
I just watched the funniest video on buzzfeed, which featured grown women asking “Hello Barbie” some very pointed, feminist questions. “Hello Barbie” is Mattel’s answer to Suri, and her responses to the women’s questions are hilarious. Michael Scott of “The Office” was once asked if he was superstitious. His response was priceless, and has become … Continue reading
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