anecdotes / dogs / Humanity / Uncategorized

You’re  Bumming Me Out Vegan Preacher!

And it’s not because you’ve made me question eating meat. You’re just a freaking bummer and I’m expecting you to pull out a scripture that’s printed on tofu.

Good for you buddy! You ordered a green smoothie. I didn’t realize it came with a gold star and a soapbox,but there you are on your upcycled and sustainable pedestal. 

If you’d given me the chance to speak, I would have told you that I believe in honoring the life of the meat I consume. I do my very best to not eat animals that have been kept in confinement, injected with additives and unnaturally fattened up just before their walk on the Green Mile, but I do eat animals, and I’m humbly grateful for their protein. I will say this: America needs to get way more transparent with their meat labeling practices. Most of the terms mean zilch. Natural means nothing. It’s basically like saying “this is pretty much a chicken”. Antibiotic free is also relatively useless. “Farmers” can pump as many drugs into their animals as they want to make them grow, but they have to leave their interment camps drug-free. The end result is a detoxing yard-bird.

But he looked at the menu in front of us and compared a chicken to a dog.

He said there was no difference between eating a chicken or a dog. 

Y’all, I’ve had both as pets, and let me tell you…there is a difference. My pet roosters were entertaining, but I promise they did not care if I lived or died. They wouldn’t have known the difference, and I’m ok with that.

My Border Collie Bandy was my childhood dog/bff and she would go on hunger strikes when I spent a night away from her. She literally wouldn’t eat until my mom put the phone receiver to her ear and I said, “Bandy, go eat!” Seconds later I’d hear the clanking of Bandy’s tags against her food bowl, and I knew all was right.


This is a photo of a photo that hangs on my fridge. I was 17 and Bandy was/is eternal. God, I love that Dog.

What you should know about me:

I have never hunted but I grew up in a hunting community. The girls (and boys) I went to school with hunted, killed and skinned their own Deer, and it was not for sport. My little hometown has morphed into a tourist destination, but there are still real people who are living off its land.

The farmers and ranchers who I grew up with are now trying to keep themselves relevant in a land of hipster daytrip bucket lists.

If you’re a vegan, please eat until your heart’s content in Fredericksburg, Tx. 

But please remember that for some, eating animals is a way of life. All due respect.

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15 thoughts on “You’re  Bumming Me Out Vegan Preacher!

  1. You know I’m vegetarian but I would never judge someone for eating meat. I make my kids eat meat and I have no problem cooking it. I just don’t eat it and that’s all 🙂

    (Sometimes tofu creeps me out too : ) )

  2. Well said. A chicken is not a dog. I raise cattle. I do it responsibly. Its an investment in my future. And one goes in our freezer every fall. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. The hipster snot nosed snobbery of some man-bun wearing faux hippy is something I can do without. I was raised by hippies and am one myself. But, sorry, a hamburger or a steak is pretty darn good every now and then.

    • That cracked me up! He didn’t have a man-bun, but I have threatened to start carrying around a pair of scissors for every time I find myself standing behind a man-bun!

      • I suppose every generation has their man-buns or bell-bottoms or Farah Fawcett/Dorothy Hamill hair cuts. But I could do without the smirk and attitude. I’m a live and let live kinda dude, but I’ll call an asshole an asshole, man-bun or not. 😃

  3. Yes, yes, yes! I am a meat eater but rarely eat anything but farm animals and as far as I’m concerned, that’s how god intended it…or whoever it might be…or Darwin, like survival of the fittest which probably is a huge contradiction, but you know what I mean. If god had wanted us to eat dogs, he would have created them in buns!! (Okay, did I mention that I’ve gotten about 7 hours of sleep in 2 days?)

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