anecdotes / humor / Life / satire / Uncategorized

 Would You Eat a Penguin?

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This tale isn’t about Penguins at all, but it is about animals who mate for life.

My two top-commenters are vegetarians, so they’d definitely say no to the query. Hi, Marissa! Hi, Paola!

Just the other day, I was walking  through an affluent neighborhood with my pesky dog, when she stopped to sniff at something. Lucy sniffs at everything, so I thought nothing of it until I saw the bone-colored feathers dripping crimson.

A man was butchering a feathered animal in his backyard. I stopped to look  flagrantly stare over the pristine,white picket fence . Surely it was a Duck or a Goose.

The lady of the house was out front and eagerly informed me that her husband was butchering their ‘Christmas Swan’ which he’d recently hunted and killed.


It’s February, so just because you call it a ‘Christmas Swan’ doesn’t make it so. I can set off fireworks in March, but that doesn’t make it the 4th of July.

You’re talking in circles, Kim. Just get to your point!

And I’m back! 

Who eats Swan? 

Bemused, I continued my walk while muttering alternate dinner invitations. 

“JonaBeth and her Lord, Josiah beseech you to joineth them in the dining of a Unicorn.”

“Eat two penguins,get one for free.”

Maybe I’m being uber-liberal, but I just never knew that people ate Swans.

As it turns out, only six states have legalized swan-hunting. Can y’all tell I live in the South? 

Many animals mate for life, but few are iconic. 

Swan Lake isn’t called Lobster Lake for a reason.


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For now, I’ll stick with chicken. 

Too many ballets and Valentine cards hang in the balance.

11 thoughts on “ Would You Eat a Penguin?

  1. Ha, ha! Actually I’m not a vegetarian but I do eat lots of veggies and not so much meat. When I do eat meat it’s either chicken or turkey. I pride myself in trying to stick to farm animals, so no, no penguins or swans for me, thanks.

  2. I’m shocked. Who would kill a swan? They are iconic birds for a reason. I love that they bond for life. In the UK, they all belong to the Queen, so they have legal protection. I shudder to think.

  3. As Sabiscuit says, all swans in the UK are protected and belong to the Queen. I believe there is a ceremonial position of Keeper of the Royal Swans… I had also heard that the Royals are the only people legally allowed to eat swan.

  4. I think my other comment is in your spam filter. 😀 We lived next to a family that would butcher a lamb every Easter. It was awful!

  5. The first time I heard of people eating swans 🙂
    I wouldn’t eat penguin but I wouldn’t eat chicken either. Actually, all animals freak me out just the same if I think for a bit.
    I ate frogs and snails during my non-vegetarian stages and I liked them but I never had barbecue meat because that I didn’t like. 🙂

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