It is officially crunch time for last minute holiday shopping. If you’re smart like a lot of people, you’re already done. If you’ve waited till the the 11th hour (like me) you might be wiping away the stress-sweat from your brow,as you read this. Guess what? The mall is going to be crowded, but I have some survival tips for you to bring into combat.
Before the mall:
1. Withdraw CASH. Set a budget and pull out only that amount in cash. This helps to not fall into the “plastic sinkhole”.
2.Empty out your purse before you leave the house. What to ditch? Any non-essentials that will weigh you down and strain your back. I removed about 10 lipsticks, 3 perfume minis, and a wine opener. Maybe I should have kept that last one! What to keep? A snack, a bottle of water, and some Chapstick. And of course your wallet-o-cash.
3.Make a calming playlist of music,because you are about to endeavor finding a parking spot…at the mall…days before Christmas.
Parking at the mall:
4. Cue up that soothing playlist, because it’s going to be a while, but you will, eventually find a spot. Don’t feed the monster of holiday rage as you drive in circles. No one wants to be that guy.
5. Leave your coat. Many moons have passed and you’ve successfully parked your car about a days walk from the entrance. Baby, it’s cold outside, but trust me when I say, leave your coat. The inside of the mall is as dry and hot as a summer day in Arizona. Once inside, there are no carts, so if you don’t want to be lugging around a heavy coat+purse+shopping bags, leave it in the car.
6. Bathroom time! Unfortunately, it looks as though I’ve left wearing a diaper off of the prep-list. I guess there’s no way around this one.
7. Enjoy those sales! One good thing about waiting till the last minute are the sales! It’s crunch time for retailers too, as they don’t want to be “sitting on inventory” come 12/26. Every gift I bought (today) was deeply discounted. Some stores even offered 50-75% off of every item.
8. Bob and weave. Imagine yourself as a pez dispenser, but instead of doling out candy, you dole out, “No thank you, no thank you, no thank you” as sales clerks try to take you off task by spritzing, making-over, and overall selling to you. Keep in mind that they’re just doing their jobs, so be polite, BUT move on.
9. Breathe. At this point, you’ve been at the mall for hours, and all you can smell is EVERYTHING. Perfume used to smell good, now it just smells like Amber-Vanilla farts laced with something that’s supposed to smell ‘sexy’. Coffee beans cleanse the palate. Oh yes, coffee…
10.Coffee is key but who has time for a Starbucks line? Many department stores have added their own coffee kiosks. I found one at Macy’s today, and there was only one person ahead of me in-line. That peppermint mocha did the trick!
I hope this survival guide helped to make your season bright. Now, where did I put that wine opener?