humor / Uncategorized

The Man With Bags Of Human Hair

People are strange, and extreme couponers are more strange. Throw a middle-aged Indian man, purchasing 40 boxes of women’s chestnut brown hair-dye (with coupons) in to the mix, and you’ll have yourself a “people are fucking weirdos” mind blowing moment. This scene is a head-scratcher, and it’s not just because of the dye.

This weirdo entered my life a few months ago, at a local drugstore that we both, apparently frequent. I had the misfortune of not beating him to the register with my one item (lip balm). As I stood there, shifting my weight from foot-to-foot, chaos ensued. The clerk didn’t know how to apply the multitude of paper-wad manufacturer coupons he’d shoved across her counter, so there were many rings and voids. The dye-man was irate, and my lips were parched.One item, people! I just wanted to pay for my one item.

20 minutes or a thousand years passed, and I was able to purchase my lip balm. By then my brain had formed a lingering question. Why is this Indian man purchasing so much women’s Chestnut brown hair-dye?

I chalked it up to eBay. I sell on eBay, so I get the premise of “buying low” and “selling high”. That must be it.

Same scenario/different day:

The hair-dye bandit was back in action, but this time, I beat him to the register. I spotted him, and full-on sprinted to the register. Between winded breaths, I explained to the clerk that I’d been behind that guy in line before. The clerk replied with a knowing glance that seemed to contain all of the “Tell me about it” moments in the world.

I paid for my solo item and then I wondered: What is this guy up to?


16 thoughts on “The Man With Bags Of Human Hair

  1. The second choice is super creepy.

    If the dye was on sale, maybe he just likes to buy it in bulk. Was his hair the color of the dye?

    Oh wait! Maybe he owns a hairstylist shop! I bet that’s it.

      • I panicked because a few times I went to get it (it’s sold only in one store), they didn’t have the colors I need. So next time I saw them, I bought them. Two colors now, the stupid company stopped producing the dark brown so I have to mix 2 browns and one black 🙂

  2. OMG I always have the best laugh when I read your blog! I had to pick the polar bear lol! But maybe the dude takes the hair dye, colors extensions & makes macramay? hanging plant baskets..

  3. I entered my own solution. I hope you don’t mind. I think he uses it to henna tattoo hairless cats at the shelter to signify their gang colours and skill set. You know, little Punky could be adept at peeing in other cats’ water bowls. He needs a tat for that.

    • Yep. That theory sounds totally sound to me. And now I’m remembering the time I pet-sat a hairless cat. What it lacked in fur, it made up for in being a demon-spawn that still haunts my dreams. Thanks for reminding me.

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