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Panic At The Movies

I had just paid my $2.25 admission for the dollar movie, (inflation hasn’t aided in a better term) and had settled in my seat with a smuggled in soda, when I noticed a man sitting alone in the otherwise, unoccupied row behind me. Nothing about his countenance marked him as a threat but the threat detector in my brain went in to survival mode, nonetheless.

Here’s the deal: It was a teen movie. That’s pretty much all it took for me to start formulating an escape plan, in case this middle aged man pulled out a gun and started firing at the popcorn eating masses. I actually sank low in my seat as I envisioned the carnage that might take place within seconds. I thought about leaving but I’d paid six bucks for 20 cents worth of popcorn. Leaving would be crazy right?

The movie started and the audience was laughing but I couldn’t relax enough to stop looking over my shoulder. It was during one of my oh so subtle,over the shoulder looks, that I noticed the man was laughing at the movie. This made me relax because I supposed a serial killer on a mission, wouldn’t disengage from his slaughter plan, to engage in laughter.

After I survived my “near death experience”, I put 2 and 2 together and realized that this out of place, would-be-attacker was probably just trying to escape the torrential rains like the rest of his co-movie goers. He might have looked at my 35 year old self, in my damp, pink rain coat and thought “She seems a little out of place”.

I chose the movie because it started at 5:15 and all of the other movies had started at 3:30 or wouldn’t start for at least another hour. He probably chose the movie for the same reasons.

I’m a crazy person but we live in a crazy world!

In case you’re curious, the movie was The Duff.

It was formulaic and included familiar themes such as: Homecoming Queen,fashion montages and football captains, but it was fresh and sweet at the same time. Think 16 Candles, Pretty In Pink and She’s All That.

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9 thoughts on “Panic At The Movies

  1. First, let me say that I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I’m worse now that I have children. If my nefarious-stranger radar goes off for any reason, I find a way to remove us from the situation, or position my kids in an exit quickly environment for optimal survival. Yes, I realize I’m a little crazy, but I’m more worried about other people’s brand of crazy than my own.

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