humor

Things That Go Bump In The Night

I made a bold move last night. I selected a scary ghost movie to watch with my boyfriend when he returned home from work. Derek spends his work-time butchering and preparing meat as a Chef, and frequently watches horror movies.

In my spare time, I catch up on shows like The Office, and Friends. Decapitations are rare, and I fall asleep with a joke in my heart.

Horror movies are not my thing. Knowing it’s fake doesn’t shake the imagery from my mind, but I know Derek likes them, so I thought I’d try one more time.

The movie we watched last night didn’t petrify Derek, but it was scary to me. I demanded his hand as I viewed the movie through the hood of my robe. The Awakening got my blood stirring, which got my bladder stirring, and that was the worst part! No, I didn’t pee my pants but it did make each venture to the restroom horrifying. We all know that monsters and ghosts hang out around toilets (when they’re not under the bed).  That’s just a fact. Derek played along and escorted me to the bathroom while I tip-toed in, and checked for other-worldly hands lurking in the toilet. You never know, so it’s best to be cautious.

I was proud of myself when I finished the movie, and even prouder to admit I’d liked it. It wasn’t gory, but it was creepy and suspenseful. The important thing was that I’d made it through an entire scary movie.

I was so proud of myself, that I didn’t sleep at all. Derek must have been really excited about my triumph as well, because he also didn’t sleep. Maybe proud and excited aren’t the words. Actually, now that I’m thinking of it, the proper words are probably paranoid and annoyed. Yes, that seems more accurate. I was so paranoid after watching a scary movie that I repeatedly nudged Derek’s ribs over any little sound I heard. He was annoyed by that.

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