I am a woman of
mystery. I am a woman with mysterious bruises at any given moment. Why? Because I am a klutz. I have the butteriest of fingers, and that’s not just due to my obsession with buttered popcorn. Seriously though…how good is that stuff?
If there’s a door, I’m going to walk in to it. If there’s a table or a dog’s tail, I’m going to trip over them (sorry Lucy the dog). If I’m talking (pretty much always), give yourself a wide birth, because I’m going to make a hand gesture, and inadvertently smack you in the face, boob, or crotch. My dramatic hand gestures do not discriminate, and cannot be held accountable for their actions.* I would like to take this opportunity to ask for my court appointed lawyer*.
And, we’re back!
I am typing this post from a computer that I formerly murdered. Thank goodness, we had a friend who was able to resurrect it from the dead, because just the other day, I killed my replacement computer. I am a serial laptop killer. My weapon of choice is ice water (maybe wine sometimes). A girl’s gotta stay
buzzed hydrated. The forensic photo below, is of my fourth victim.
CPR was administered via a rice bath, and dismantling. The victim did not survive, and an autopsy proved that foul play was involved.Charges are pending.
Thank the stars for my backup. You should always have a backup for your backup.
Sure it won’t connect to a printer (after five hours of driver downloads and Googling tech help today). Sure the cursor hovers erratically over objects, like Michael J. Fox drinking juice on his best day.
The point is this: I have a computer that pretty much works, and enables me to publish fluffy blog posts like this.
I will not be switching to decaf coffee, but I might make the switch to adult sippy cups. It just seems like a prudent investment at this point.