We’re all writers here, so it’s natural to assume we’re hyper-aware of our surroundings. I know it’s not ‘polite to stare’ but I just can’t help myself. My partner busts me on this nasty little habit daily.
I observe everything…because I do. Real life is irksome but what gets me is the movies. I am typically far more interested in the background of movies and t.v. than the foreground. This shit is staged, and should be staged correctly. If it’s not, I’ll probably notice.
#1. The coffee cup. When someone is drinking “coffee” in a scene I always inspect the prop cup. It’s usually apparent that no liquid is in it at all. I’m fine with that because it’s a prop. I am not fine with the actor haphazardly waving their hands about with the supposed hot liquid. No one in real life would do that with a drink that could cause serious burns. Think before you act.
#2 Doo doo breath: This one is appropriately titled and has to do with morning breath. There’s at least one scene in every romantic comedy that depicts lovers waking up to one another. I cringe at all of the hard h’s that they exchange. “Hello you; how’d you sleep”? The deep, bacterial tongue ridden kisses commence without so much as a stinging swish of Listerine. No one is impervious to morning breath. I call bullshit with the hopes that the actors breaths smell better than they would in the wee small hours of the morning. Nothing puts the HELL in hello quite like morning breath.
#3 Movie Chefs don’t follow procedure. When I was a restaurant manager/ catering manager, my company shelled out thousands to keep me up to date in certifications and sanitation ordinances. I watched a show today in which the ‘Chef’ used the same spoon to sample all of her dishes. Double dipping is a big no-no but she quadruple dipped. In my world, this “t.v. Chef” would be fired on the spot for the saliva stew she created with her contaminated spoon.
#4 Sing along time. Imagine a world where people sit around a piano and sing their hearts out. I’m annoyed already. There’s a guy or girl in every scene who thinks they have a great voice , and adds a harmony portion to the song. This happened to me in real life as well. It might even be the #1 reason for not believing in organized religion. Sister Helen might have the voice of an angel in God’s eyes, but a true and just God would not make his brethren endure a warbly-voiced solo that makes human ears bleed.
#5 The High School party scene. I am not condoning underage drinking here but merely “Stating the facts,ma’am”. Nothing hits my cringe button harder than a high school party scene that depicts characters drinking unadulterated sodas and non-spiked punch. Dancing ensues-because teenage kids love nothing more than being sober and dancing awkwardly. I attended a lot of parties in high school but none involved non-alcoholic punch.
What movie /t.v. scenes irk you?