List Of Fears (Irrational or Not)

I have some fears. Some of them are rational while I’m sure others aren’t. My good friend tagged me in this video on FB because she knew it would set my heart to racing mode.

Once upon a time, this friend and I attended the county fair. She loved rides and I didn’t ,but she smuggled in a little vodka. Once this vodka intermixed with a few $8 fair lemonades, a witches’ brew occurred and I found myself buckled in to a ride that I would never have normally, subjected myself to. My friend Kelly weighs about 98 pounds soaking wet, but most of that weight is made up of sheer evil. That’s why I love her, but it’s also why I wanted to wring her sparrow-like neck during the horrifying ride. Through every thrash and buck, I cried out “I don’t want to die” and she just laughed. Kelly and I have different fears. She can’t take an airplane ride without anxiety pills and she’s a hypochondriac. If she’s bitten by a mosquito, she truly believes she has West Nile Virus. Our fears differ but they are nonetheless, fears.

Here are a few of mine:

1). Fair rides. As mentioned above, I fear fair rides. I’m good to go at amusement parks and love roller coasters. The difference is; fair rides are operated by carnies who might not be, but are probably on meth.

2). Cats. I’ve mentioned my fear of squirrels before but I haven’t mentioned my fear of cats. I realize these fears are irrational but they’re both rooted in the element of surprise. If I am having a bad day, I can usually be found cuddling puppies at the SPCA. A few weeks back, I needed some puppy cuddles. After rubbing some sweet, pudgy, puppy bellies, D invited me in to the cat room. I was honestly terrified and gingerly paced myself in to the room. Two seconds in, I encountered a black cat (cliche) and it seemed to sense my fear. It hissed and bared it’s claws. As I scaled the wall in retreat, I was reminded that I’m not a “cat person”.

3). Horror Movies. I was traumatized by Poltergeist as a kid and have sworn off horror movies since then. I am prone to very vivid nightmares without any external prompts and I wouldn’t wish the brutality of my nightmares on my worst enemies…even Ann Coulter. In recent years I’ve tried to join in on my boyfriend’s proclivity towards horror cinema but I barely made it through watching the movie “The Conjuring”. He now knows that he’ll forever be escorting me to the bathroom if even one scary scene makes it’s imprint on my mind. Hell, I practically peed my pants going through a “haunted” maze last year and I knew that the “ghouls” were teenage volunteers.

4). Religion. This is terrifying to say publicly but I’m an atheist. The very word conjures up images of horns and the like, but my beliefs are rooted in science. I spent 2/3 of my life as a Christian, trying to recruit “lost souls” in to the service “of the Lord”.  I regret this time and if I had it to do over again, I’d prompt people to think for themselves and examine all scientific evidence. Like most, I’m afraid of dying, but I’m not afraid of death. I believe in kindness and relying on one’s built in moral compass. I won’t judge you for your beliefs and I appreciate the same respect towards mine.  The fear of atheism is just silly to me. We’re too busy being captivated by the universe to devise plans to harm those who hold opposing views.

5). Roaches! Nothing strikes fear in my heart quite like the cockroach. I realize that they don’t bite, sting or maul but they scare the bejeezus out of me.  I don’t like how fast they move or that some of them can fly and I really don’t appreciate their mocking attitude.


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