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Thank You Crackhead

Last week was  monumentally bad.

The badness of the week  began to culminate on Thursday. In an effort to offset my slow eBay sales, I picked up a 12 hour catering shift. As a restaurant manager, I used to work back to back shifts like this all of the time. No biggie.

My alarm sounded as scheduled and as I awoke, my body was sending off it’s own alarm…my period was starting. If my period had a voice, it would sound just like The Wicked Witch of The West. Good luck standing on your feet for 12 hours while being doubled over in pain, my pretty.

I popped 8 Advil…yes 8, had my morning coffee and eggs and then headed off to work. On my way in, I received a call from the lady who’d conducted my recent job interview. I had no choice but to let it go to voicemail but I was certain she was calling to offer me the job. I had nailed the interview (or so I thought) and had even managed to make her laugh a few times. Carolina Hurricanes/NHL, here I come!

My break finally came around 3 p.m. I quickly ate my lunch and then stepped outside to call Barbara. I couldn’t wait to arrange my first day. As soon as she picked up I knew that she hadn’t called with good news. “Thank you for applying Kimberley but I’ve gone ahead and hired another applicant”.

I had no time to let dejection set in because I was off to work another event. Catering events often require a lot of heavy lifting. I hold my own but I’m only 5’3″ so I was counting on the relief of the 6’1″ minor league baseball player who’d been assigned to work with me. He never showed. I sweat through my clothes about a dozen times and labored through all of the set up and break down.

Once home, I texted my boyfriend that I didn’t get the job and that I didn’t want to talk about it.

Derek might piss me off with his a.d.d or cause steam to come out of my ears at his inability to place his dirty laundry in the washing machine (it’s the thing right next to his balled up socks) but he’s always in my corner. He didn’t push the issue but I felt like I’d let him down. In his usual fashion, he made me lie down on the couch on Friday as he headed to work and tucked me and the pup in before kissing both of us. I offered a weak smile through my tears and promised him I would not dwell on it.

I tried but rejection sucks. I cried off and on on Friday and a little more on Saturday. To be honest, I really didn’t feel like getting out of bed. I knew my dog had to go out and I was hoping that a neighbor would somehow sense my distress and come and knock on my door, offering to take Lucy out. Lo and behold, that did not happen.

Still in physical pain from the period monster and feeling utterly scorned, I slapped a pair of big sunglasses over my puffy eyes and ventured out in ratty sweats-my bed head flying in the wind.

Just as Lucy was pulling me towards her favorite pee spot, I spotted a homeless crackhead in hot pursuit of a couple who were practically sprinting to get away from him. I can only describe his movements as that of a zombie who’s being fast forwarded on a VCR.

I live in an urban area so I know how to bob and weave at the sight of a crackhead.  Crackie’ was faster than I expected though. We locked eyes and I moved backwards, first to the left, then to the right. His movements mirrored mine and just as he made it halfway, I loudly said NO!

When he heard this he stopped but not before getting in a jab. He shouted loudly enough for the painters working on the building across the street to stop their work and listen in. Crackie said: “I weren’t gonna ask you fer nothin’, you’re ugly and you’re fat”.

Way to kick a girl when she’s down.

I’m sure he says that to all the girls but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurt by Crackie’s words. Rationally, I knew that neither remark was true but it made me take pause for a minute and think maybe that’s why I didn’t get hired. It was just the icing on my shit-cake of a week.

Derek asked for a full description of the guy but he’s watched way too many super-hero movies. I know he wants to fix everything. Most guys are wired that way. It’s enough to know that he hurts when I’m hurt.

A new week has begun. Hopefully this one will be crackhead free.

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