I never want to get caught with my pants down so I’m usually on the defensive line when it comes to protecting myself from being caught in the act of being a human. It’s hard to not be human when you are indeed a human. We all let our guards down at some point. When this happens ‘cool cash’ can be rapidly deducted from our ‘awesome banks’. So be it. I’ve lived to tell the tales. With a reddened face I will now share some of my most embarrassing moments of all time. If you’re a co-human you’ll get it and hopefully empathize.
#1. I was caught with my pants up. It was actually a dress that I’d insisted on wearing to the roller rink. I was only four but I’ll never forget the laughter from the older kids as my ruffled panties said hello to the audience. The panties were on backwards because I preferred to be able to see the ruffles that should have been on my bum. I hadn’t factored in falling in public.
#2. Caught red handed. I was seven or eight and was being ‘baby sat’. I hung as long as I could with my teenaged sisters and older teenaged baby sitter but finally the heaviness of my sleepy eyelids raised the proverbial white flag and insisted on sleep. An hour later I awakened to laughter as the teenagers hovered over me. They were laughing because I had both hands tucked in to my underwear. I laughed along and enjoyed the attention from the older kids. Years would pass before I realized they had made it in to an adolescent dirty joke. The ridicule might have gotten to someone with a thinner skin. Almost 30 years have passed and I still proudly tuck my hands in to my panties each night if I sleep on my back. I rest each hand on my upper thighs and my panties hold my hands securely in place. Comfy!
#3. I didn’t know I was supposed to shave down there! I was 15 and rocking a super cute bikini at my friend’s lake house. Our guy friends/crushes had been invited. We met our group of high school boys and engaged in a game of chicken while the barbecue was being cued. I was on a boys shoulders and was feeling really cute in my bikini until he emerged from the water and whispered ‘gross’ to his bro. I instantly knew that he was referring to my unshaved regions. I didn’t know until I knew. Later that night I performed my first lady scape with a dull bic razor.
I’m quickly realizing that this post has to do with exposing my lady parts but I’ve already typed this much. Might as well keep at it! Just a few years ago I was walking down a busy street just outside my home in downtown Raleigh. The breeze felt remarkably nice despite the July heat. As I continued the walk to my neighborhood coffee shop I couldn’t help but get a little ego boost as I noticed I was receiving approving looks from men passing by. What a great day! I was sure the color of my dress must have made my eyes stand out. The breeze kicked up and it felt as if I had my fanny against an a/c vent. It began to slowly dawn on me that my booty should not have felt that cool in 90 degree heat. All was made clear with a quick look over my shoulders. My dress was definitely tucked in to my panties and had been for about 1/2 of a mile. Serves me right for getting cocky! Eyes my ass!
Do you have any embarrassing stories to share? They sure would make me feel better!