Men: Man Your Battle Stations, Save Yourselves!\

The battle is on. Hormones are raging and the world is upside down and twisted with pain and blood. The woman in your life is on her period. Beware, be vigilant and be complimentary!

If you want to keep yourself from the line of fire remember the following tips:

1). Be specific when complimenting your female partner. “You look nice” is not the same as “wow, you look gorgeous!”. Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith show can “look nice” but that’s not what the lady in your life is hoping to hear. 

2). Offer to buy her steak or (even better) cook it yourself. There’s a lot of iron loss during a ladies time. I don’t know how vegetarians remedy this but a seared Rib-Eye finished off in the oven to med. rare and topped with a pat of butter often keeps the “period monster” at bay for me.

3). Don’t compare your aching back/ joints to period pain. There’s time for that 3 weeks out of the month. Give us women a week to endure the pain of our uterine lining shedding. It’s not pleasant but it will pass soon enough. 

4). Put the damned chip clip back on the bag. Maybe this is only my thing but I bought the chip clips for a reason. If you like stale chips and a bitchy partner do not replace the chip clip. If you like fresh chips and a sense of balance, just be cool and clip those chips!

5). Just slide the chocolates under the door. If rules 1-4 have not been stringently followed your female loved one is likely to be found in her/your bedroom with the door shut tight as she cries her eyes out over nothing. Know her brand of chocolate. Imprint it on your mind.

For me, a Hershey’s Symphony bar usually does the trick.

Stay safe.

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