I’m A Weirdo (just like my Grandma)

This observation is certainly not a revelation but the fact that I’m super weird hit me yesterday as I caught myself scooping a hand full of hazelnut half and half containers in to my over sized bag at the restaurant I was eating at. I hadn’t ordered coffee but I knew I would be drinking coffee soon. Am I seriously that cheap? Maybe; but I usually drink my coffee black. I have a problem!

I have a problem but I blame my Grandma Joyce. The woman lived comfortably and rarely ate at home yet her fridge was stocked full of swiped condiments from every restaurant she ever visited. In fact, those hoarded condiments made up about 90% of her fridge. Not weird enough? She and my Grandpa Cecil kept adding refrigerators as their condiment collection grew. Aside from the obvious kitchen one, they had two side by side in their ample laundry room and a mini fridge on their front porch. To be fair, the porch fridge was the designated “kid fridge” and was stocked only with Gatorade, Dr.Pepper and Nutty Bars. I thought their condiment ‘collecting’ was so odd.

Flash forward three decades and here I am with a collection of my own. If there’s ever a worldwide disaster and you find that your food supplies are running low; hit me up and we can lick ketchup packets together! Got a little ketchup dab on your face? Fear not! I have plenty of stockpiled napkins on hand!

I guess there are weirder ways to be weird but I’m just getting started! Oh, I am just getting started…

What’s your weirdness?


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