Uncategorized

What makes you you volume 2

I recently added a list of quirks that are identifiable markers of my human existence. You might have read these and hopefully identified with a few. As I made a grocery list today, I came up with a few more quirks. I don’t dye my hair in crazy colors, I don’t wear tutus and I have rarely been known to make a spectacle of myself in a public venue. My life is rather predictable and I cling to the routine. I’m not opposed to adventure and would love nothing more than to travel the world. Until/if that happens, I’ll happily go about my day to business and be as quirky as I want.
6). I’m a list maker. I’m not your average list maker. If I don’t enter a grocery store with a list I experience a small panic attack. “What if we forget the tomatoes?” That’s a terifying thought for me. While the heavens might not be ripped asunder by the absence of my list, I imagine that they might. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know this is a crazy thought process. I’m fully aware of the absurdity. I’m a creature of habit. I routinely shop at two grocery stores and plan my list according to their grid. I always enter the store on the right and always have my list mapped out accordingly. Typically produce comes first, followed by bread then beauty products. Meats are next followed by soups/sauces, dry goods and finally toiletries and dairy. I typically write my lists with 2 markers. One color denotes every other line. It might sound crazy but it’s my own personal map that allows me to nimbly excecute my shopping list, aisle by aisle. If I miss an item while writing my list, I’ve been known to rewrite the thing alltogether.
7).I look for change everywhere. I admire Ghandi but the change I refer to is actual loose change currency. My mother did this and I was horrified by it as an adolescent. Yet here I am an adult and I daily find myself looking for a copper glimmer to catch the sun’s light and reveal it’s fortune. Silver glimmers are best.I find that I average around 60 cents of found change per week. If I’m lucky enough to make it to the average life expectancy of 81, that gives me another 48 years with a potential loose change earning of close to $1,500 smackers. Now that’s some vacation money!
8). Currency must comply. Crinkling will not be allowed and all bills must be facing upward and in ascending order. This little nuisance of a quirk began when I was in charge of counting two-three cash drawers down nightly. I began rejecting money if it was not given in the proper order as a shortcut to my closing duties and thus formed a habit for my own personal wallet.
9._ I sleep with a pillow over my head. Lately said pillow has been a giant valentine’s stuffed puppy because apparently, I’m 15. I fell in love with a stuffed puppy at a grocery store and husfriend remembered and bought it for me this past 2/14/14. Little did he know that it’s 4′ frame would share the bed with us and replace the standard pillow that usually covers my face during sleep. I like to cocoon myself…shut out as much noise and light as possible. When Derek leaves for work at 6 a.m., he gently lifts the puppy’s hind quarters that are covering my face, kisses my cheek and then gingerly reapplies the puppy butt over my half sleeping eyes.That’s love.
10.)I’m not all light and puppies. I have a ‘strong personality’ and if left unfettered, I have been known to take on the role of small-time vigilante. As Woodrow F. Call from ‘Lonesome Dove’ said, “I hate rude behavior in a man, I won’t tolerate it”. I myself hate rude behavior but will abide by it to a certain degree if it pertains only to me. Mess with my friend, my family or the unfortunate and I’m liable to go all “Woodrow F. Call” on you!

I hate rude behavior.

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